Archive for November 22nd, 2007

Thanksgiving Funnies!

                  A Thanksgiving Poem



‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
         but I just couldn’t   sleep.
         I tried counting backwards
         And I tried counting sheep.


The leftovers beckoned,
         The dark meat and white,
         But I   fought the temptation
         With all of my might.


Tossing and turning
         With anticipation,
         The thought of a   snack
         Became infatuation.


So I raced to the kitchen,
         Flung open the door
         And gazed   at the fridge,
         Full of goodies galore.


I gobbled up turkey
         And buttered potatoes,
         Pickles and   carrots,
         Beans and tomatoes.


I felt myself swelling,
         So plump and so round,
         ‘Til all of   a sudden,
         I rose off the ground.


I crashed through the ceiling,
         Floating into the sky
         With   a mouthful of pudding
         And a handful of pie.


But I managed to yell,
         As I soared past the trees,
         Happy   eating to all.
         Pass the cranberries please.


May your stuffing be tasty.
         May your turkey be plump.
         May   your potatoes ‘n gravy
         Have nary a lump.


May your yams be delicious.
         May your pies take the   prize.
         May your Thanksgiving dinner
         Stay off of your thighs.

Unforgetable Thanksgiving 


The turkey shot out the oven,
           And rocketed into the air,
           It   knocked every plate off the table,
           And partly demolished a chair.


It ricocheted into a corner
           And burst with a deafening   boom,
           Then splattered all over the kitchen,
           Completely obscuring the   room.


It stuck to the walls and the windows,
           It totally coated the   floor,
           There was turkey attached to the ceiling,
           Where there’d never been   turkey before.


It blanketed every appliances,
           It smeared every saucer and   bowl,
           There wasn’t a way I could stop it,
           That turkey was out of   control!


I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
           And thought with   chagrin as I mopped,
           That I’d never again stuff a turkey,
           With popcorn   that hadn’t been popped.

Happy Redneck Thanksgiving!!



You’ve ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.


Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.


You’ve ever re-used a paper plate.


If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool   Whip on the side.


If you’ve ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.


On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.


Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.


Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.


Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.


Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.


You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.


The directions to your house include "turn off the paved   road".


You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.


You have an Elvis Jell-O mold.


You serve Vienna sausage as an appetizer.


Your secret family recipe is illegal.





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